Top 10 Funniest Blogs of All Time!!!

Okay, I lied. I have no idea if these are actually the funniest blogs of all time. I couldn’t, because it would require me to read every blog ever written. And trying to read all that senseless drivel those other blogs would be just plain nuts. These are blogs I just happen to know about that I happen to think are funny.

And let’s face it–I figured with a headline like “Top 10 Funniest Blogs of All Time!!!” you’d probably pick this up in an online search. And you’d be inclined to read it. (Was I right or what?)

Okay, now that’s out of the way, here’s the list. Oh, and BTW–even though I’m listing them in reverse numbered order like Letterman, I don’t really know if these are strictly listed in order of funniness. Maybe roughly in order of funniness, but just . . . roughly, okay? I mean what’s funny, anyway? Doesn’t it kind of depend on your mood that day? Can one blog that’s incredibly funny one day go over like a lead balloon the next? And what about . . . wait a minute. This is turning into a philosophical discussion. Oh, the hell with it. Here’s the list:

#10

Stuff White People Like

Okay, this one’s kind of a gimme. It’s achieved a bit of notoriety in the blog world, as the site that makes fun of white, hipster types with their trendy interests, their rugby shirts, their love of Bob Marley, their Moleskin notebooks, etc., etc. It’s funny and all, but can someone please explain to me why someone would buy a book based on a blog?

#9

Blog to be named later.

#8

Reader’s choice.

#7

Whatever.

(Okay. I lied twice. Really, I only have seven blogs on this list. Plus an honorable mention. But people don’t write Top 7 Lists, do they? So, with that understood, here’s the rest.)

#6

Screw You! (The Irreverent Freelancer)

I simply must include this, even though it will probably tickle the funny bones of more freelancers than other people, because some of the examples Kathy Kehrli provides of actual work being advertised is so sad and pathetic, it’s funny (in a sad and pathetic way). I mean, take a look at her “Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Requests” for each week and tell me anyone could survive on slave wages like these. (And I’m not just including this blog because of my contribution to it. Really! Though I must say I’m proud to be a part of it. To point to yet another example of freelancer abuse. To take a small step toward righting wrongs in the profession. To do the right thing, to . . . Jesus, listen to yourself, Debbi. Shut up, already. Okay. Keep going.)

#5

The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks

Not only do you have to love these examples of “creative” misuse (like mine just then) of quotation marks, but Bethany Keeley’s commentary on them invariably invokes a smirk, a smile, a chuckle or even a guffaw. At least from this reader. It’s well worth a daily look. And who would’ve thought that quotations marks could be so widely misused? That, in itself, is pretty funny. Sad and pathetic funny, again–I seem to go for that don’t I? Well, here’s something completely different.

#4

The Heavy Metal Librarian

Here’s where we get down and dirty. Here’s where the list goes nuts a bit. Because when Aaron’s not ranting hilariously about right-wing assholes (the butt–no pun intended–of much great humor, IMHO), he’s often got a clip or two of a truly bizarre nature. Like this cheese rolling thing–I mean WTF? Who comes up with this shit? Amazing. He’s irreverent, he’s liberal (and damn proud of it), he’s into heavy metal music. What’s not to like? Oh, and he’s also a librarian. Extra points, dude.

#3

The Anti DC

Maybe it’s just because I’ve lived around this shithole the Nation’s Capital for so long, but I totally appreciate this blog. I’d like to think it’s funny for many reasons. You don’t have to live in DC to like it. I think people anywhere will find this blog funny. Try to imagine Marissa Payne, a woman whose life is made up of crazy experiences a la David Sedaris (without the dysfunctional family–at least, I’ve seen no mention of one yet) trapped inside some kind of Kafka-esque loop in which she often escapes from DC, yet repeatedly returns. Why does she keep coming back? Is it for the stories? Is she a masochist? Is it a strange love/hate relationship with the Chocolate City? (Yeah, I know the term “Chocolate City” is antiquated, but then so am I.) I’m voting for the last reason, but I don’t know and it doesn’t really matter–I just know that it’s damn funny stuff. Laugh out loud funny. So funny it hurts. Take it from someone who’s lived in the DC area for years and years and years and years, there is some major funny, harsh truth written here. (But one question: how the hell did she manage to live in DC selling dildos for $2.37 an hour?)

#2

(and in the event that #1 is disqualified or otherwise unable to serve as the #1 funniest blog of all time (or at least the funniest I know about), this blog will be ready to stand in its stead) (here it is)

The Prison Diary of Ram Venkatararam (formerly The Food Here Convenience Store)

What can I say about this blog? I started reading it back when it was The Food Here Convenience Store, and it struck me as nothing less than a brilliant satire on modern day mores, social commentary tinged with a fine sense of irony. I looked forward every day to reading about Ram’s increasingly bizarre customers, employees and associates, not to mention the increasingly bizarre events Ram would stage to draw more business (having his clerk do an Evel Knievel on a tricycle over a shark tank was probably the topper) and what new stunts he’d pull himself (going homeless for a week or so was interesting). When it came to biting humor and merciless depictions of modern (so-called) culture, I’m not sure Voltaire could have blogged it better than the man who saw it all from behind The Food Here counter.

But now Ram’s in prison (long story), where he’s turning his rapier-like wit toward the foibles and failings of the penal system. His stories are still funny, his companions still bizarre (he shares a cell with a guy named Mad Dog with whom he’s reached certain understandings–which is to say, he sleeps on the top bunk despite his aversion to heights and keeps a safe distance from Mad Dog to avoid being beaten senseless). I’ve gone on way too long, it’s just a funny blog. Believe me. Read it. You’ll see.

And, finally, the #1 Funniest Blog of All Time (That I Happen to Know About)

The Problem with Young People Today Is . . .

Now this is just the flat-out funniest blog I’ve ever been privileged to read. It never fails to make me laugh. And when I say laugh, I mean it almost never fails to make me double over laughing. And it just keeps getting funnier as you read it, until (when it’s at its best) you’re laughing so hard you’re gasping for breath, possibly with a tear or two in your eyes. I’m talking spit-take funny here, so don’t drink coffee while you read it. Again, this blog really nails modern society and youth culture on its spoiled little head. This guy’s rants are priceless. I won’t even bother to say more. Just read the thing. I dare you to do it without laughing or at least cracking a smile. (Oh, and Ram, you are actually writing this, aren’t you?)

And the honorable mention? That goes to Fafblog. It’s funny, but mainly it’s just so frackin’ strange.

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