I’ll keep this short and sweet. I think this blog has served its purpose.
The journey of a thousand words has come to an end … or a new beginning, really.
I’ll just leave you with these last few thoughts. Now, here’s this blog called The Passive Voice. Written by an attorney named David P. Vandagriff. Now, let’s look at the FAQs about Mr. Vandagriff. Interesting. I wonder why he chose to quit the Missouri Bar, just because he moved to another state. That’s just not done. Or weird. Oh, well.
Now … let’s read about Mr. Vandagriff. So … he’s a California attorney, but he works all over the freaking place. Umm … yet, if you check Martindale Hubble, his listing says he’s located in Ohio. Now, with all those credentials, you’d think his profile would reflect them somewhere, huh? Especially since he never mentioned being a member of the Ohio Bar. Yo no comprendo. Ha!
Hey, look! I know this lawyer. That’s Connie Ridgway. We used to share office space together. In fact, Connie was in my first writer’s group with
Betsy E.D. Baker, the children’s book author who told me about Doctor Who and Red Dwarf.
And this is my entry from when I worked at a law firm in Prince George’s County. I never bothered to update my entry, because I went to work for the government for three and a half years. Then, I opened my own office, and failed to update the entry, because it didn’t matter much. It costs money, and I was losing money hand over fist. But that’s what being an entrepreneur is really like. You spend money up front and earn it back over time, slowly but surely.
I was starting to make a profit when I decided to close my law office and become a freelance writer. I was so happy to get paid to do what I loved, which was write. Even if the pay was small, I figured I’d work my way up to bigger, better-paying assignments. That was back before I had my stroke, developed dystonia, and everything turned to shit.
I’m so-o-o-o sorry. Did I offend you? Am I trotting out my neurological dirty laundry? Again?
But … back to Mr. Vandagriff. Wouldn’t it be interesting to research this man’s background and get the full story about him? I know private eyes who could do it, too. Maths is hard, but something’s not adding up quite right.
Hmm …! What would Perry Mason do?
How about this?
So … hopefully, that’s settled, whatever that is. Because I sure as fuck don’t know.
In any case, I’m still writing and that is nothing short of astonishing to me. And Mac Cassity, Ned Adams and Kris van der Sande all have characters named for them. You may be surprised at how significant little Miss Kris turns out to be in the story. Only Dr. Strangewriter knows for sure, but can’t say, because that would be telling, wouldn’t it?
Plus … just a few links of possible interest.
THINK Picture, THINK Action, THINK Dialogue by
the curiously named Thomas Sawyer. Hmm …!
Which reminds me, I still haven’t heard from Donna. I can’t send her a book without an address. Strange. Hmm …!
And here’s a quotation for you. Hell, here’s two, for that matter.
“There is no stigma attached to recognizing a bad decision in time to install a better one.”
– Laurence J. Peter
“America … just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.”
– Hunter S. Thompson
About time I grew up, huh?
I won’t say goodbye. I’ll be seeing you … I hope.
Please like my Facebook page or look for me on Twitter, and get ready to hop aboard the mystery train!
And I’m on Pinterest, of course.
That’s mine! I like your style.
I’m also powered by espresso.
PS: I won’t be attending Bouchercon after all. I’ll be going to a Nats game. I’m splitting season tickets with one of the nicest attorneys from the old office. A real mensch.
Okay, a few more links and I’ll call it quits or move on, at any rate.
Pay-as-you-read e-bookselling, blah blah, etc. Let’s not even get into the question of who Mike Shatzkin is and what his credentials are. Anyone can go online and set up a website and say whatever they want about themselves. I will say it is a most “interesting” blog for a publishing consultant or whatever he is, based on the look, the categories and so on in the sidebar, etc.
Is there life after work? That’s all I want. I just want to write for a living and have a life. Is that so much to ask?
Now, I may appear to be an American idiot, but there’s more to me than meets the eye.
Sorry, I won’t see you at Bouchercon, Simon.
What can I say? I got punked.
UPDATE 2: Sadly, it seems my offer hasn’t been accepted. Well, I could use a vacation. I wouldn’t mind finding out the down and dirty about Mr. Vandagrass or whatever his name is. This should all go over very well with various state and federal authorities, I’m sure. They take a really dim view of computer hacking and other shenanigans, too. Just saying.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a book to read, a review to peck out, a blog to (hopefully) launch, and a life to live.
Talk amongst yourselves!
“Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing.”
– John Erskine
UPDATE 4: One final thought. Never accept candy from strangers. And never do business with people on the Internet without knowing who you’re doing business with.
Now, given the fact that I posted this column in Nov. 2007, then this column, then somebody came to me out of the blue with a proposition to cross-promote with other authors, I realize now I should’ve asked, “Why me?” However, one of the authors who got involved was someone I met at a conference. And, my, how interesting this looks in retrospect!
I think this explains everything.
Now do you understand?
And thank you, Paul! Tell Trevor I said hello.
I’m wearing my Doctor Who T-shirt today. Like the proud Doctor Who fan and nerd that I am.
We always have choices. And Kobo is awesome. You can find all my books on Kobo.
Now … do we have an understanding? Ahem!
Finally, here’s an appropriate quotation and a song.
“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
– Groucho Marx
PS: Just a reminder that I’m doing a promotional giveaway on Smashwords until Sunday, March 17. I’m giving away free downloads of LEAST WANTED. Just use the coupon code KY37W at checkout.
Click this link to read the first nine chapters of the novel. That is, if anyone gives a damn.
UPDATE 5: Hi there! While I’m still here, talking to myself, Paul, Scott (whichever one, for there are many), and whoever else might give a damn, I thought I’d mention that I’ve finished the book I’m reviewing. So … without giving anything away, let’s just say you could sum it up in these words: karma is a bitch! Ha!
One last link: In sly tweets, a rich lode for comedy.
The question is, who is your audience? And why are they laughing?
Here’s one last quotation.
“Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.”
– Fran Lebowitz
Wait … one more …
“A witty saying proves nothing.”
Hold on! How about this?
“What if this weren’t a hypothetical question?”
UPDATE 6: While I was doing the teaser on Nik Nak’s Old Peculiar, I heard this song and thought I’d share it, because I love piano music so much. I used to play piano. In fact, I’ll have to try to find that certificate I got for my piano playing way back in the day when I had two fully functional hands. Sometime after I write my review and figure out why I can’t put a simple freaking post up on my new blog to save my life. Or why I was able to create pages just fine until I suddenly couldn’t, and I now I suddenly can’t do it for love or money.
Anyway, here’s the song.
Oh, yeah, here’s another interesting thing. I noticed that in WordPress for Dummies it says that it’s fine to have has few or as many categories as you wish on your blog. Well … when I checked the online instructions, I noticed an entry that said, “This post has too many categories.” Or words to that effect. Weird, huh?
And here’s a quotation for you.
“He who limps is still walking.”
UPDATE 7: Another Sunday, another day sitting at home in my toothpaste-stained pajamas, reading the paper and catching up on some other reading. Here are some items of possible interest.
Thank you Mystery Writers of America.
And for these …
UPDATE 8: Well, well … once again, I’ve tried to put up a simple post to my new blog and it isn’t happening.
So I’ll just put here what I was going to blog there, okay?
When I started blogging, I really had no idea what I was doing. I’ve come to realize that there should be guidance for newbies when it comes to social media. I don’t have all the answers. I’ve just made lots of mistakes. But the first rule I’d suggest is to avoid Facebook. Read the above guidance on Facebook and decide for yourself.
Also, here’s awesome stuff I’ve pinned.
And here’s an awesome quotation and video.
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
– Albert Einstein
When I started blogging, I really had no idea what I was doing. I’ve come to realize that there should be guidance for newbies when it comes to social media. I don’t have all the answers. I’ve just made lots of mistakes. But the first rule I’d suggest is to avoid Facebook. Read this and decide for yourself.
Thanks to the Mystery Writers of America for this guidance.
Also, never blog or tweet without thinking about what you’re saying.
And here’s an appropriate quotation:
“The worst crime you can commit with an audience is telling them something they already know.”
– Aaron Sorkin
Only the Shadow knows! Ha!
And finally the sanity clause!
UPDATE 10: From Nik Nak’s Old Peculiar, the Doctor Who, series 7, part 2, 2013, trailer breakdown!
Of course, this man will always be the real Doctor to me.
UPDATE 11: *sigh* Isn’t this getting a bit ridiculous? All I want to do is start another blog. I’m sure anyone reading this post must be thinking something like this.
Anyhow, at some point, I’ll be able to finish what I was blogging about there, when we can all get over ourselves and act like adults, because I don’t believe WordPress is screwing up that badly and I have no idea what’s going on, but I have theories, which I’m sure no one wants me to blog. And that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’ll shut up if you just let me write in peace, okay?
Now … grow a pair, you. Whoever you are.
UPDATE 12: Rather than waste anymore time, let’s just be done with it.
Cat’s out of the bag.
UPDATE 13: Yeah, I know, I know … if you want to follow me, you’ll find me here, where I’m blogging now. Okay?